Valkyrie cain fanfiction, duck dilema
by laurie hughes
Summary: a random story about what would happen on an average day for valkyrie cain ;-) please read and respond as this is my first story


**This is set after last stand of dead men.**

**Valkyrie is now 23, and she is still partners with skulduggery.**

**Ghastly is not dead and Tanith is no longer possessed by a remnant.**

Valkyrie Cain stepped out of the busy shopping mall and scanned the car park for her target. It was getting rather annoying that she couldn't see anything in the dark. She clicked her fingers once more, trying to summon her magic, but it was still just out of reach. Valkyrie saw movement to her right and sprinted through the lonely car park. It was eerie, creepy and silent. She continued to sprint until she saw more movement to her right, passing around a hot dog stand. How did this guy move so fast? Valkyrie pilled on the speed as she came to a desolate park, but then came crashing to a halt as she came face to face with her target.

"Hecam Rego, you are under arrest for... um... hang on a moment, I always forget this part..." she struggled to remember what he was actually being arrested _for._ She looked back towards Rego, only to see him disappearing around a clump of trees. She sighed inwardly and resumed the chase. She skidded round branches and hurdled park benches and terrorised owls as she crashed through the now not-so-silent park. She heard a curse to her left and veered off into the bushes, and came to a shallow pond. There she found Rego, soaking wet and unhappy, tangled in pondweed and being attacked by ducks.

_Time to try again_ she thought to herself.

She strode over to Hecam... _Hecam? Seriously, _she thought, _who calls themselves Hecam?_ Anyway, where was she? Oh, right. Arresting Hecam.

"Hecam Rego," she started, huffing from the chase, "I must ask you to accompany me to the sanctuary for questioning for the...for the...um...ah, yes! For the unlawful kidnapping of a tribe of magical pig worshipers" she had nearly choked herself to death with laughter when skulduggery had told her what she had to do in briefing. Well, it _is_ her job.

She moved further towards the edge of the pond, hearing the distressed calls from the ducks as they tried to stop Rego from squashing their pondweed dinner. She reached out with her magic, trying to manipulate the water and wash him to the bank, but it was still recovering from when he had temporarily drained it. _Now_ she remembered what his ability was. Hecam Rego was one of the last 'borrowers' as they called themselves. They took a persons magic, and used it as a pure energy, by either exercising, shooting it, or storing it up for protection.

"well if you could just, y'know, step slowly this way, and we can get some handcuffs for you, and um... a nice warm cell?" he just laughed at her.

"silly detective pleasant, sending a little girl to arrest me! How I tremble with fear as she scowls at me!" he chuckled to himself as she did just that, she _scowled._

Listen here moron, we can either do this your way, or my way, and your way is definitely **not** the easy way, so what's it going to be _Hecam_? I mean seriously, did they run out of good names?" she retorted.

He glowered at her and then fixed his stupid smirk back on his stupid fat face. That's all Valkyrie could really say in the way of features, everything was..._fat. _He had a big fat nose, that looked like he had been hit by a frying pan and disgusting teeth, that looked like he lived in a Coca-Cola factory, and tiny slits for his beady eyes. And his _eyebrows_. Were they eyebrows, or did he just have a really low hair-line! She shuddered as he smirked at her again.

She grumbled as she stepped into the murky pond and after she found her footing, she looked up at Rego, gave him her best smile and said,

"this is going to hurt. A lot."

He frowned just a millisecond, as her elbow came flying, sending him splashing into the pond like an elephant. She crashed down on top of him and started raining down punches to his ribs, stomach and nose, then alternating to palm shots and more elbows, barely giving him time to get up again before she was up and lashing out kicks to his side, which has previously been softened up by her fists. After two minutes he held up his hands protectively and wheezed something that sounded like "I surrender"

She smiled with contempt as she slipped the handcuffs around his fat wrists.

"_now _I think you should be trembling, after all you _did_ just get beat up by a little girl." She laughed as she dialled skulduggery's number.

"yo skull-man, got one soggy Hecam Rego here." She smirked as she said his name "the magical pig worshipers are now safe yet again" she smiled. Silly pigs.

"yes, well he was only a minor criminal of course" he replied smugly

"and what have _you _been doing this evening, oh that's right, investigating a teleporting cat, which, can I remind you, belongs to a _very_ dangerous old lady." She retorted.

"well... you never know, her knitting club could be evil sorcerers planning to take over the world" Valkyrie could practically hear the smile in his voice.

"yes, with their evil knitting patterns... you're such a goon"

she hung up dialled for the cleavers, then asked if she could get a blanket. that was a flat no.


End file.
